Wednesday, August 20, 2014

Making Mothers Matter in the difference

I am the fifth child in a family of nine from a humble abode grown up to accept things I can handle and leave GOD to handle those I cannot change. Life is such a ballad full of pleasant & unpleasant surprises but only complete when all phases are experienced. I grew up in the hilly slopes of Banja knowing every girl at a certain age must earn respect of the society once she is married, gives birth and caters for her family, but now, I have a different version of Life's cruise. I have been pregnant 5 times readers but I still do not have a child at 28 due to circumstances I can't use words to explain. My first child died at 6 years without uttering a word nor made a move and when I dug deep to find out why my boy could not talk at his age, a friend I love so much happened to be the root cause of my misfortune. I had a 5, 7 & 3 month old miscarraige(s) respectively and two years ago I had a fifth pregnancy, gave birth to my beautiful baby whose condition obliged an urgent transfer to one of the District hospitals in Douala and despite all expenditures to save my baby, I saw her take her last breath upon arrival at the hospital where she had to be put in a nest for premature babies, so that she still feels the warmth of the womb enabling it to live normally till I am ready to take her home. I am still single and searching at 28. Sometimes I ask myself questions, answers are deeply farfetched when I listen to the next.

I am a 26 year old mother of two children I abandonned because of greed and competition I should have surpassed. I got initiated to a deadly  spiritual joint by my kid sister who told me I will have anything I wanted once a member. I took the lives of 11 persons and the 12th, My husband didn't spare me the trouble. It all started like a joke and before i knew it, i was living a life of a different world on this planet. Status, money and fame was all I wanted at all cost,one of the reasons why I married a well to do mechanical engineer at my tender age,when my mates were at the university furthering their education. I had done all that was required of me and that famous night I had to organise a party, lull my husband to sleep with me so i could reach that stage that will earn me much money, thus respect in the society. I told him i was organising a party and he told me not to, because he neither had the money for the birthday ceremony, nor saw the need for the occasion. Since I knew my mission, I got my guests all dressed in hot pants to come and I threw the party at my matrimonial home. When he arrived, I seduced him to no avail and I forced him with the aid of my mother & kid sister to sleep with me that night. Spiritually alert, he rejected my offer and when the neighbours came to his safety, I ran mad. This stage of mental distress lasted 4 months after which I died leaving behind my 2 lovely kids & husband because of greed and quick to get wealth. I gave birth but did not enjoy the priviledge of motherhood.

I am a successful young woman whose life is a testimony at every level. I have taken care of so many ungrateful children who forget so easily how I took them, cleaned them and gave them life, even their parents could not and will never do. All I get from these kids is scorn, disrespect and insults. I remember how my phone calls transformed their miserable lives to some status they now enjoy and have forgotten so soon how they got there. I leave each insult to GOD to handle as I live that life of pain knowing gain will come at GOD's time for them to know: 'No condition is permanent'. What I don't get and understand is how a child could grow up and forget her origins and humble beginnings so soon. I even get confused when I know how prayerful these girls could be and ask GOD many a times if we are serving the same GOD of there is some degree of pretence somewhere. I don't have kids of my own but I bring up children who even insult me with my predicament blaming me for not making babies because I eat them up through diabolical means to make money and fame my everything.The question I ask myself is how one could possibly stay, dine, wine and pray with a witch for months without being one.

I am a mother of a lovely little girl I had at age eighteen. I have a nice job but spend little or no time with my queen because of the nature of my job. I so happen to have a kind, lovely and understanding mother who runs all my motherly calls & errands for me. In fact, she gives my daughter what I could not and cannot give her in the next generation because I wasn't prepared for the pregnancy. Its a mistake I can't deny but I'm proud of boasting with my mates with that achievement of mine. Honestly speaking, I don't know how I would have done it without the help of my mum.

Who is a mother? Who do you call your child? how far can you go to mother a child? Must you be a mother only and only if you bear a child? Can you adopt kids from orphanages who will turn all of a sudden to be your worst nightmare? Should you sleep with another man just to be a mother? What do you tell the lad about his origins when he grows up? Must you allow your life to be dictated by the society?

They all have a story, a fine tale and write up to inspire this generation lost in the middle of the sea. Women without kids are mothers and girls/women who give birth to babies they later abandon in the dustbin due to whatever circumstance, cannot term themselves 'Mothers' because they disgrace woman hood and will never be virtue if people see vice.

I don't know in which of the 4 stories you relate more with, but I know there ain't any difference, especially after hearing News early this Morning, of a hardworking woman who has been married for 18 years without issue, dieing in the childbearing process. Is she going to mother the child from the game? If this pricks your mind, then you must not allow society dictate the course of your life but take matters into your hands and make the difference.

9 comments:

  1. TOUCHING TESTIMONIES

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  2. ABOJA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! EUCH! LES FILLES

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  3. I am making the difference thanks to these words of wisdom.
    Jane FOSILI

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  4. Oh my God. Heart breaking. God save mankind.

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  5. This is what matters inspiration for our being. No fear for pure altruistic leadership, with first priority for human interest! That is the First Law! This is in what the USA gives hope for the future of Africa and for the development of the weak and vulnerable human nature of the entire world. joop noppen

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  6. I always wonder why people who push women to carry on with awful acts and practices never even carry their burden when the consequences of their rotten advices turn sour. if that's not wickedness please tell me what is.? Thanks Amy for bringing the trauma to the limelight. It will teach some women to be themselves. jgreco1000

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  7. Cameroonians like Africans need to stop being naive. Africa has had a few good leaders i.e Lumumba , Nkuruma --if i can recall the cia were involved in killing Lumumba and also overthrowing Nkuruma, with support of the us gov ...it also supported Mobutu ---Mandela was once regarded a terrorist by the same gov and Obama imposed santions on Zimbabwe for demanding land stolen by the British ..Obiang of Equatorial Guinea is a good partner even though he siphons millions of oil money from his people ----Africans need to grow up and endorse creative opportunities to develop sustainable lifelihoods. The aspects of becoming mothers at all cost should not be promoted to the detriment of values and life. I know of great leaders who do not have children but are parents to millions, and others who have children but have no time for them. Why will you want to live the life of another person knowing very well uniqueness is individual not collective. Why must you insult another without a biological child (bringing up many in the nation) when you beg for food from this same person to feed your children? Is there any logic in your actions? Why must everyone have a baby anyway? Who says mothers are those who give birth? And Amy, what about those who dump kids in refuse bins across our communities? Are they mothers as well? And those who hand over the burden of bringing up their children to their mothers? Are they mothers Amy? I hope your heartbreaking article as someone put it will traumatise the vices in our society, so people can live upright and fulfilling lives on earth. Steve SB

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  8. This second case has been an embarrassment to her father since inception and especially, when she allowed her kid sister to incorporate witchcraft to her acts and thoughts. Settle down people and look at this country's history, then you won't be able to blame others for your mistakes and shame. Leslie Scott 11

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  9. Thanks for opening the sore. Just yesterday on 'confidences', I read a lady gave birth and strangled the baby to death. Amy this girl cannot call herself a mother just because she gave life, which she took away seconds after. Oh what a cruel world! Last week in Douala I heard on ETV that a woman allowed a pastor to bury her teen daughter all under the pretext that the pastor said the girl was possessed. What might even interest you more Amy, is the fact that this pastor was sleeping with mother and wife. Is this teen's mother a mother indeed? If yes, how did she allow a normal human being like her to manipulate her to murder her own blood? She is everything Amy, except a mother. keep on MIW in Cameroon.

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