Almost all of us delude ourselves about workplace ambitions, visions,
status, achievements and contributions.
This is not necessarily a bad thing but it can mislead us, especially
when it becomes a sing song for us to change. It is sometimes very challenging
for high level executives to improve their interpersonal skills but when it
comes to changing the way we interact with our peers, we fail to recognize the
steps required for ongoing results. Part of this stems from healthy denial
while part may be sheer ignorance.
We are only confronted with performance or
promotional issues when we begin to open our minds to change. It could trigger
emotional hot buttons of self interest but personal convictions and values must
never be compromised for a some what majority
take, because they may just want to distract you from those habits and trends
that made you rack up achievements in the past or simply play on your
psychology by making you believe you are not good enough. Many a times the
overwhelming desire to run us down will bring these weak majority to make
destructive comments on our personality using emotional volatility as a tool to make us act on anger.
Remedying them requires we acknowledge the breed of flaws centred on how
we interact with them. We are not talking about deficiencies in skills or
intelligence, neither are we talking of psychological medication and therapy,
but the ability to refine our listening, encouraging, courageous,
communicating, decisive, humble, empathic and trust worthy attributes. This
will define us and connect us to the positive energy that needs to blend with
ours, from within and without, to meet up with company standards and
objectives.
This doesn't in anyway mean that we won't find distant, difficult and
arrogant co workers who will sometimes make us feel we are stupid just because
they want to feel even with our defining qualities or break our highly
appreciated and inspired experience. Whatever the situation, we must deal with
it from within. We are compelled to deal with the egregious annoyances that
make the workplace substantially more toxic than necessary.If we can't interact
with one another, then silence coupled to our smart and sufficient
competencies, can be an option.
We should
always go an extra mile in proactive strategies to discover what is wrong,
identify the bad habits (if we are faulty and reproach our character in any
way) and strive hard to change the scary behaviour. Marshall Goldsmith compiled
the following list of negative habits after years of working with top
executives in Fortune 500 companies in the United States of America. Some of
the qualities cited are subtle , while others are glaringly obvious . Often,
they may not appear to be harmful on the surface; in reality, they are valid
detriments.
* Winning too much. The need to win at all cost and in every situation -
when it matters and even when it doesn't , when its totally beside the point.
* Adding too much value. The overwhelming desire to add two cents to
every discussion.
* Passing Judgement.The need to rate others and impose our standards on them.
* Making destructive comments. The needless sarcasm and cutting remarks
that make us sound sharp and witty.
* Starting with'no', 'but' or however. The overuse of these negative qualifiers, which
secretly convey to everyone, "I'm right. You're Wrong".
* Telling the World
how smart we are. The need to show people we are smarter than they are or think
we are.
* Speaking when we
are angry. using emotional volatility as a management tool.
*Negativity. The
need to share our negative thoughts, even when we haven't been asked to do so.
* Withholding
information. The refusal to share information so we can maintain an advantage
over others.
* Failing to give
proper recognition. The inability to praise or reward.
* Claiming credit
we do not deserve. The most annoying way to overestimate our contribution to
any success.
* Making excuses.
The need to re-position our annoying behaviour as a permanent fixture so people
will excuse us for it.
* Clinging to the
past. The need to deflect blame away from ourselves and unto events and people
from our past; a subset of blaming everyone else.
* Playing
favourites. Failing to see that we are treating someone unfairly.
* Refusing to
express regret. The inability to take responsibility for our actions, admit we
are wrong or recognise how our actions affect others.
* Not Listening.
The most passive - aggressive form of disrespect for our colleagues.
* Failing to
express gratitude. The most basic form of bad manners.
* Punishing the
Messenger. The misguided need to attack the innocent who, usually, are only
trying to help us.
* Passing the buck.
The need to blame everyone but ourselves.
* An Excessive need
to be 'me'. Exalting our faults as virtues, simply because they embody who we
are.
There is however
some good news for us if we identify with this group of scary behaviours
because these bad habits are easy to break. We must always be mindful of the
fact that the cure for failing to express gratitude is remembering to say,
"Thank You".
For not apologising, we must learn to say, "I'm
Sorry. I'll do better next time." And if we punished the messenger, let us
imagine for seconds how we will feel if we were treated under similar
circumstances. We must not talk at every given occasion, sometimes its an open
trap to nails us with our words in the nearest future. For not listening, we
should keep our mouths shut and open our ears wider. Most of us have a dire need to pass on an
information on something we truly know little or nothing about, even when its
not in our best interest. When we add value, pass judgement , announce that 'we
are already in the know of a detail/fact' when we practically know nothing
indeed, we are compulsively sharing information. When we fail to give
recognition, claim credit we don't deserve, refuse to apologize or neglect to
express gratitude, we are with-holding information. We could decide to
unequivocally help another person to pass on the right information. When
sharing these details, let us be mindful of two things:
- Is this appropriate?
- How much should I share?
It is very easy but
it depends on our will and ability to nurture these seeds in us. And if
everyone says we are wrong when we are deeply convinced of the virtue in our
vision, lets remember what Christ went through to save us, yet we remain
sinners in our acts (knowingly and unknowingly) and proceed with our innermost
convictions. For if we allow fear (whose job is to keep us small, stuck and the
same) to steal our joy of effectively transforming lives with our experience,
then we were mistakes from the very on set.
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